Okay...I know I am meant to continue with The Epic of Tobi, but things just keep coming up. There is a story I read in today's Daily Nation newspaper, about a professional lady who believes that her bride price is worth a million shillings and more. Yes gentlemen, a MILLION!! She highlighted that by virtue of her being 'educated', cost incurred being a million, she is worth more than a lady who hasn't gone to school. Sheer Rubbish-was dismayed that this actually came from a learned woman- oh, no she isn't. She is just educated!! In the same article, a couple of women also lamented on how their potential husbands were turned down by their parents because of failing to raise the bride price. Whose lose is it really? True, the men might have lost on good women, but their 'small' cash shall be accepted somewhere without doubt, and most probably, the lady shall creep back and rock his marriage!Question: Is marriage a business, a union-ship, a partnership, or a survivor-ship? What makes a woman, a woman? Is it beauty, persona, academics, dressing etc? I am curious!!
I am not protesting against the payment of bride price..not at all. In fact, I know I will pay mine, but in show of gratitude, and not purchase. To be precise, I think this should be done according to one's willingness and not a debate on how much someone thinks a lady is worth? From the implications by the said lady, does it mean that a man's education is valueless? Would I be justified to have a look at my potential's wife transcripts, and for every D she got, get a discount? Would I be insane to view her as MY PROPERTY, and thus, since there is no law against purchase of new property, I can get another upon desire to do so? Does it mean that a lady who studies education, is cheaper than one who has done actuarial science or engineering? If I bargained to pay her bride price to a specific lower amount, meet up a lady worth 'much more', am I justified to seek a new bargain? This is the reality behind it, in layman's language!! If I am myopic, then I choose to stay so.
First, I think the lady demeaned herself by valuing herself to only her education. Lest she gets an amnesia (God Forbid), does it mean she is worthless? A bride price is meant to be a sign of appreciation to the parents of the lady, not a money making venture. Second-it is such demanding, plastic quantification, that make men stray. Simply put, assuming you have invested in shares, should they not bring in positive return, wouldn't you trade-off, and go and buy new ones? Value for money! Therefore, the moment a man shall feel that he is not getting value for his investment, trust me, he will think it so, then he shall look for value elsewhere. I am not justifying men who cheat, personally I do not like groupwork in relationships, but yet again, am I being delusional, or saying it, as it is. I adore women, and shall never stop saying so. They are a great add to the human race, and I thank the Heavens for gracing earth with them, but to quantify a woman's worth to money, and academics, that is a hoard load of nonsense creamed up with toppings of sheer rubbish.
Enough said. I don't think I would pay a million for a woman, especially, with her value being tied to her academics. Not because of inflation, or the likes, mark you! I cannot take a loan to actualize a woman's fantasy either, simply because such a woman is not realistic.I am working my ass off now, so that I can make her, future Mrs., have all she ever dreamed of, but to have one of her kind as a wife, I would rather die a bachelor with children out of weldlock. Yeah, I personally found her testimonial so disgustingly-disturbing!! The beauty of it all, is that I know there are few of her kind, and that proper ladies exist out there, thus no need for wed-locking. To you future parents, kindly do not degrade your daughters to such a plastic state, viewing them as a money making scheme or allowing them to think so lowly of themselves; simply 'selling' her to the highest bidder. NO, NO, NO!!NB: I would pick a woman who is street-smart over a woman who is book-smart, ANY DAY!! Simply, a woman who is learned, rather than a woman who is educated!! As you chew on this bone, The Epic of Tobi is continues shortly.........
Dat true..i support u bro...bt 2 the era we r in nowady things r changin unless u get the learnd n smart gal u wil b a victim of circumstance...
ReplyDeleteHehe..dadangu, swala la kuwa victim I do not want. Therefore, I shall seek your counsel, when that final time comes..hehe.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, u can't bring down a girl that dreams. She didn't need to announce that to all the broke brothers out there.She needs to find a man that will offer gifts to her parents of the value she wants and more just because he knows she's worth more than that and not necessarily because of her education. That's just wrong. So forgive her for announcing her above the average man expectations to average men. But don't try and beat her dream/expectations down
ReplyDeleteSupuu..hmm. I sought not to bring down her dreams, just to let her know that when she wakes up, she will realise that reality paints a whole new picture. Dowry is meant to be a sign of appreciation, not compensation for investment dear. If you think a man is above average because he would pay 1m..you are lost dearest!
ReplyDeletehaha this got me rolling on my stomach. wawawa i had forgotten that dowry issue, men that just sic and weird all together. Its soo uncomfortable to think that ur husband paid money to get u. thats just me nwe now i rem i neva got that part of tradition. obviously my mum is like into this things i just ope she wouldn't be a pain in the ass about the dowry plus uncles n errbody involved. its just weird to force someone to give his money #idon'tgetit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteKaranu...we will have to wait for you to comeback and we see how that goes...ha ha !! Yeah, makes no sense at all when it is made to be like a purhcase and not a show of gratitude!!
ReplyDelete