Single Ladies BONANZA:Pray for 1, get 1 free!!

"Hear Ye, Hear Ye"...must confess, I love this medieval start to a major announcement. From what I have seen in Camelot, Merlin, Robin-hood and the likes...it had great gusto in it-thus, "Listen ye, citizens of False-Truth Kingdom- today its all about the single ladies. There is a lady bonanza on the offing, and all the single men best take this up.I am not in any way materializing the angelic beings, thus bare with me if you are the easily insulted type-men simply like it when it sounds like an adventure that ascertains a victorious accomplishment upon completion of a task. (makes no sense to me either)

The Nigerian Pastor, Chris O., re-known for praying for single ladies to get instant husbands is coming to town again-Nairobi, Kenya. It is almost a year now, since he last graced our beautiful city, and I cannot wait to see the kind of crowd he will draw in, this time round. In fact, I am trying to be an usher, so that I can get first-hand experience. Ha. I have been watching his sermons lately on Kiss TV (local broadcast), and must confess, this man can pull crowds without doubt. Ladies confess of how they get calls, rekindle old flames, meet perfect strangers etc., and eventually dance the I'm single tune no more. My bad, I lost track-this was actually meant not to be about ladies...got excited for a minute there. Think about it, a single guy, ushering a seminar for single women, in dire need of men..hehe....#perfect timing and placing!! Don't you think so?

Gentlemen. If you are single, lack the charisma and confidence to approach a woman, then your prayers have finally been answered. All you need to do, is look sharp, buy flowers if necessary, make time and stick by these rules!

1. Know the location and timing of the meet by the Pastor

2. Dress well to make sure you can draw a ladies attention

3. Do not be hasty-employ lots of patience, thus ensure you have no commitments

4. Stand outside the venue and await the completion of the seminar

5. Once the ladies start leaving the vicinity, identify your catch and start thy pursuit

6. You can choose to follow her and talk to her at a strategic place, or simply point at her. The spirit that shall have encompassed the lady shall be massive, and she will be expectant of meeting someone special-YOU!

7. Tell her "I am the one. Your prayed about me, and here I am"- be sleek, and convincing. Should she look doubting, tell her 'Do not turn away, I am thy gift brought forth by the universe-that is the geekiest remark ever. Don't you dare. Coin your own words, at least I have done so much to shade light on your dark days of solitude.

I seek not to encourage men who want exploit women for their pleasure to take this up. Nope. I seek to chant a prayer for the brothers out there, who have despaired and chose to drown their sorrows in alcohol and are marry football. Haha. A wise man, knows a gold mine when he sees one- Kenyan men, your gold mine is coming through in the name of   the Nigerian Pastor.

I have painted the rough picture.

Take a painting brush and  piece of paper, then start to paint for yourself a Monalisa!!

Go ye unto Nyayo Staduim, and claim thy bride!!

NB: I would have done this, if my status read different. For now....should it change in the next couple days, as a result of this post..see you outside the gates of the seminar hall. 


Have a great weekend citizens of The Kingdom of False-Truth. I am not the King of this estate- simply the Crier, thus "Hear ye, Hear Ye"