A Woman's VERDICT?

Gentlemen, gentlemen, I know we have concocted so many synonyms in relation to the fairer-sex. While working with a construction company, some ladies were referred to as 'Live-wire', while others were referred to as copper/insulators etc-this is in relation to beauty. As I moved on to the bank industry, we had some being referred to as EFTs, bounced cheques while others were simply over-the counter withdrawals etc-in relation to how soon a guy would take to sleep with one, or how fast she caught the men's attention. I even heard the airline industry has its own connotation of this beloved specie-I am still researching. While in campus, the nicknames were just too many and guess you can recall a few of your own. Women, women, women, what a MARVEL. Anhu, I know women have their own synonyms in relation to us, men, but I cannot dwell into that, because, honestly, I have no clue. Oh, I have remembered one: Maasai Sandals men. My colleague, a lady, told me that this is the reference her clique uses in relation to short chaps. I assume it is because the shoes are flat-soled, therefore, bringing the woman to the same height level as the man!

In tandem with this, I pondered on what women value in relation to what they actually possess.  This is my own manifestation, and I stand to be corrected. Therefore, gentlemen, if ladies would refer to you in this manner, this is what I perceive they would mean:

1. Hair

This is a lady's most priced possession. If you are a guy, and a lady likens you to her hair, then you are assured of quality time, concern, care and protection. If storms are to be raised against you, then she will not be hesitant to back you up, and shelter you. In times of rain, she would do anything, to ensure you do not get wet. If you are short, she would purchase extensions, just to make you more appealing. If you are just from the salon, then she would rather sleep with her head floating over a pillow, other than have you compressed on the bed-cushion, only to wake up shambled and disoriented. Simply put gentlemen, if a lady likens you to her hair, you are a jewel in her heart, and she will treasure you ever.

2. Shoes

Uuh, these pairs come a close second to hair. If ladies had an option, I think they would prefer to walk on air, other than have them ruined. Gentlemen, if you are her pair of shoes, then your dynamism is what she finds alluring. Your capacity to match and gel with her circumstance, making her stand out and look complete, is an attribute she takes not for granted. You provide comfort when she seeks to walk long distances, elegance when she has a grand-event, sustain her body when she is impregnated by pressure etc. You are of sincere value to her.

3. Brassiere 

Ha, these are men who provide reassurance of support. To be precise, if you are a push-up bra, then, you are better off, because you guarantee her a thrust when she is down. Fact remains, she will always hold you close to heart, because you guarantee her solidity in turbulent times. Behave well, and you may just be welcomed to her personal space faster than you think.

4. Stockings

If you are referred to as such, then you are temporary, but your capacity to flaunt her beauty is what she finds appealing. You give her the capacity to dress skimpy, yet look elegant, because you hide, what would be depicted as under-dressing. By virtue of you being a provision of warmth in the days of cold, then the lady shall only seek you when she needs you. The sad part of being in this category, is that your purpose is often short-lived to her liking.

5. Thong

Well, I must attest, she is most comfortable around you. Oh yes, so comfortable, that she has no problems with you getting in her business. She feels sexiest, open and out-going around you. At this stage, the lady sees no point in her pretending or keeping secrets. You are simply her best kept secret, and she cannot dare, share you with anyone else-you are only hers-period!!

6. The Handbag
In my own opinion, I think once a woman likens you to this personal item, then you are doomed. Knowing that she can dump everything and anything on you, then she simply sees you as a good friend, and unless all men die, and you are the only one left standing, you simply have no chance of being her man. There is no life encounter about her that is secret to you. From her rain moments to lip-gloss encounters, one-night stands to her deepest secrets; well, you know it all. 


As I stated earlier, this is my personal assessment, and I stand to be corrected. I cannot over-emphasize the value and worth of women in society. Thinking about the world without them, is like trying to dance tango, with your legs tied together. HORRIFIC!!