What is the disease called ”Perfection”? We live in
communities where people feel unconquerable amounts of pressure
to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional, and perfectly
figured out...sounds familiar, doesn't it...see below examples!!
“Perfection” is a lady who feels trapped in a marriage/relationship to a lazy, angry, arrogant man, but at chama meetings tells the other ladies how wonderful her husband always is. “Perfection” keeps people from telling the truth, even to themselves. My husband/ boyfriend is adorable. He called me a whore this week because I smiled at a stranger. When I started crying, he said he had a game to go watch. I love him so much...hmm....
“Perfection” is a man who is belittled, unappreciated, and abused by his wife/ girlfriend, yet works endlessly to make his marriage/relationship appear incredible to those around him- EGO GALORE!!. ”Perfection” really does keep people from being real about the truth. You would have laughed, guys. She said that I suck at my job and will never go anywhere in life. Then she insinuated that I was a stupid, rotting pile of crap. Isn't she the best?
“Perfection” makes us believe that nobody else could understand what it is like to be weak and fall prey to the pressures of the world.
“Perfection” is a couple drowning in debt, a young couple starting to date, but who still agree to that trip to Naivasha with their friends because the words “we don’t have the money” are impossible ones to push across their lips.
“Perfection” is a mom/ girlfriend hating herself because she only sees that every other mom/girlfriend around her is the perfect mother/GF, the perfect wife, and the perfect neighbor. I’d give anything to be Mama Nani... Today she ran for 1 hour, hosted a birthday party, went to a chama, and still leads the church choir. What you know not, is that Mama Nanii is also at home crying right now because the pressure to be “Perfect” never lets up.
“Perfection” is a man hating himself because he can’t give the same thing to his kids/or lady that other men do, and then hates himself further because he takes his self-loathing out on his kids behind closed doors. You know what would have been nice? If you were never born, if I never met you. Do you realize how much money I’d have right now? Now come give Daddy a hug because I can force you to give me validation.
“Perfection” is a child hating herself because the boys at school call her fat, dark, skinny etc... and when she goes home she tells her mom that school was fine. Her mom never stops to question why her daughter doesn't have any friends, because her mom doesn't want to think that anything might be less than “Perfect”.
“Perfection” is a man feeling like a smaller man because his neighbor pulled in with a new car...
“Perfection” is a woman who is so overwhelmed that she thinks about killing herself daily. “Perfection” makes it so that she never will because of the things people will think if she does. How could I make my suicide look like an accident? If I kill myself, I don’t want anybody knowing that I ever had any problems. She never stops to look at why she wants to do it, because healing means admitting imperfection.
“Perfection” is a man who everybody heralds as perfect, and inside he is screaming to be seen as the faulty human being that he always has been. Because to no longer be “the perfect one”, that would be freeing.
“Perfection” is a man/woman having an affair because he's/she’s too afraid to confront the imperfection in her marriage.
“Perfection” is a twelve-year-old boy killing himself because he is ashamed that he can’t pass exams or, running away from KCSE, because he has been told to remove nail-polish...My-nail-polish-comes-before-exams (read link)
Stop, and read that one again.
“Perfection” is my friend’s cousin, fellow student, or dear friend, swallowing hundreds of pills because she just got the news that she was pregnant, out of wedlock, and the shame was too much to bear. She was only attempting to cause a miscarriage. 24 hours later, she closed her eyes and never opened them again. She is dead because of the “Perfection” infecting those around her. We’d rather you die than shame this family. Thanks for taking care of that, honey. By the way, we’ll do the right thing and make ourselves out to be the victims now. We have to. We’re infected with “Perfection”.
"Perfection" is man opting not question the recent hike in matatu prices, simply because he is wearing a suit, and does not want the ladies to think he is cheap.
"Perfection" is man, going all out, to borrow money and impress a lady, simply because he does not want the lady to know, that he is working up his financial growth in life.
"Perfection" is a man killing his family, simply because he cannot admit that he is emotionally in distraught, and would need help.
"Perfection" is a lady pretending to go to church, only to.....well, feel free to fill that in!!
I could go on. This is all a small sampling of the disease called “Perfection”. You have brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, extended family members, neighbors, friends, and children who are ALL these things, yet none of us will ever know. “Perfection” is a hideous monster with a really beautiful face. And chances are you’re infected. The good news is, there is a cure.
Be real.
Embrace that you have weakness. Because everybody does. Embrace that your body is not perfect. Because nobody’s is. Embrace that you have things you can’t control. We all have a list of them.
Here’s your wake-up call:
You aren't the only one who feels worthless sometimes.
You aren't the only one who took your frustrations out on your children, wife, employees today.
You aren't the only one who isn't making enough money to support your lifestyle.
You aren't the only one who has questions and doubts about your religion.
You aren't the only one who sometimes says things that really hurt other people.
You aren't the only one who feels trapped in your marriage or relationship.
You aren't the only one who gets down and hates yourself and you can’t figure out why.
You aren't the only one who hates your body. YEP, YOU ARE NOT!!!
You aren't the only one who wishes you were paid more, wishes your boss was dead...
You aren't the only one who cannot afford the latest trend in fashion...
You aren't the only one to fail in pursuit of a chic....MAN UP!!
Your wife is not the only wife that is mean and vindictive and makes you hate yourself.
Why didn't somebody, anybody, tell a beautiful pregnant girl that there was nothing so big in life that it couldn't be made right. Maybe that incredible young woman would still be alive. Maybe her now one-year-old child would be learning to walk or say “Mommy” right now. Maybe.
Maybe.
The cure is so simple.
Be real...never said it is magical though!!
Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people’s lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Once you cure yourself of the disease, others will come to you, asking if they can just “talk”. People are desperate to talk. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will tell you of some of the greatest struggles going on. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will break down in tears as they tell you how difficult life is for them. Turns out some of the most “perfect” people around us are human beings after all, and are dying to talk to another human being about it.
You’ll love them for it. And you’ll love yourself even more.
Let’s not forget this quote: “I went out to find a friend and could not find one there. I went out to be a friend, and friends were everywhere.” Somebody who is being a friend doesn’t spread “Perfection”. Somebody who is being a friend spreads “Real”. Then, and only then, can we all grow together.
I am not perfect, nor do I want anybody to think of me as such. Here’s my dose of real:
I once told my mother she loved me not and that I am not her son.I made her cry. Every thought of that, tears my heart apart.
I do not like loosing, well, and would get pissed at it, whenever it does happen..yet I seek to marry reality, and realize, that you can never win them all. (working on it)
I once wished death upon myself, and started to have suicidal thoughts.
The list would go on and on...but good thing is, I am curing myself from this disease!!
What about you...
God never expects perfection from us, that is why he leaves room for repentance!!
Will you help me spread “Real”?
Original Link Single Dad- Disease Called Perfection!!
“Perfection” is a lady who feels trapped in a marriage/relationship to a lazy, angry, arrogant man, but at chama meetings tells the other ladies how wonderful her husband always is. “Perfection” keeps people from telling the truth, even to themselves. My husband/ boyfriend is adorable. He called me a whore this week because I smiled at a stranger. When I started crying, he said he had a game to go watch. I love him so much...hmm....
“Perfection” is a man who is belittled, unappreciated, and abused by his wife/ girlfriend, yet works endlessly to make his marriage/relationship appear incredible to those around him- EGO GALORE!!. ”Perfection” really does keep people from being real about the truth. You would have laughed, guys. She said that I suck at my job and will never go anywhere in life. Then she insinuated that I was a stupid, rotting pile of crap. Isn't she the best?
“Perfection” makes us believe that nobody else could understand what it is like to be weak and fall prey to the pressures of the world.
“Perfection” is a couple drowning in debt, a young couple starting to date, but who still agree to that trip to Naivasha with their friends because the words “we don’t have the money” are impossible ones to push across their lips.
“Perfection” is a mom/ girlfriend hating herself because she only sees that every other mom/girlfriend around her is the perfect mother/GF, the perfect wife, and the perfect neighbor. I’d give anything to be Mama Nani... Today she ran for 1 hour, hosted a birthday party, went to a chama, and still leads the church choir. What you know not, is that Mama Nanii is also at home crying right now because the pressure to be “Perfect” never lets up.
“Perfection” is a man hating himself because he can’t give the same thing to his kids/or lady that other men do, and then hates himself further because he takes his self-loathing out on his kids behind closed doors. You know what would have been nice? If you were never born, if I never met you. Do you realize how much money I’d have right now? Now come give Daddy a hug because I can force you to give me validation.
“Perfection” is a child hating herself because the boys at school call her fat, dark, skinny etc... and when she goes home she tells her mom that school was fine. Her mom never stops to question why her daughter doesn't have any friends, because her mom doesn't want to think that anything might be less than “Perfect”.
“Perfection” is a man feeling like a smaller man because his neighbor pulled in with a new car...
“Perfection” is a woman who is so overwhelmed that she thinks about killing herself daily. “Perfection” makes it so that she never will because of the things people will think if she does. How could I make my suicide look like an accident? If I kill myself, I don’t want anybody knowing that I ever had any problems. She never stops to look at why she wants to do it, because healing means admitting imperfection.
“Perfection” is a man who everybody heralds as perfect, and inside he is screaming to be seen as the faulty human being that he always has been. Because to no longer be “the perfect one”, that would be freeing.
“Perfection” is a man/woman having an affair because he's/she’s too afraid to confront the imperfection in her marriage.
“Perfection” is a twelve-year-old boy killing himself because he is ashamed that he can’t pass exams or, running away from KCSE, because he has been told to remove nail-polish...My-nail-polish-comes-before-exams (read link)
Stop, and read that one again.
“Perfection” is my friend’s cousin, fellow student, or dear friend, swallowing hundreds of pills because she just got the news that she was pregnant, out of wedlock, and the shame was too much to bear. She was only attempting to cause a miscarriage. 24 hours later, she closed her eyes and never opened them again. She is dead because of the “Perfection” infecting those around her. We’d rather you die than shame this family. Thanks for taking care of that, honey. By the way, we’ll do the right thing and make ourselves out to be the victims now. We have to. We’re infected with “Perfection”.
"Perfection" is man opting not question the recent hike in matatu prices, simply because he is wearing a suit, and does not want the ladies to think he is cheap.
"Perfection" is man, going all out, to borrow money and impress a lady, simply because he does not want the lady to know, that he is working up his financial growth in life.
"Perfection" is a man killing his family, simply because he cannot admit that he is emotionally in distraught, and would need help.
"Perfection" is a lady pretending to go to church, only to.....well, feel free to fill that in!!
I could go on. This is all a small sampling of the disease called “Perfection”. You have brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, extended family members, neighbors, friends, and children who are ALL these things, yet none of us will ever know. “Perfection” is a hideous monster with a really beautiful face. And chances are you’re infected. The good news is, there is a cure.
Be real.
Embrace that you have weakness. Because everybody does. Embrace that your body is not perfect. Because nobody’s is. Embrace that you have things you can’t control. We all have a list of them.
Here’s your wake-up call:
You aren't the only one who feels worthless sometimes.
You aren't the only one who took your frustrations out on your children, wife, employees today.
You aren't the only one who isn't making enough money to support your lifestyle.
You aren't the only one who has questions and doubts about your religion.
You aren't the only one who sometimes says things that really hurt other people.
You aren't the only one who feels trapped in your marriage or relationship.
You aren't the only one who gets down and hates yourself and you can’t figure out why.
You aren't the only one who hates your body. YEP, YOU ARE NOT!!!
You aren't the only one who wishes you were paid more, wishes your boss was dead...
You aren't the only one who cannot afford the latest trend in fashion...
You aren't the only one to fail in pursuit of a chic....MAN UP!!
Your wife is not the only wife that is mean and vindictive and makes you hate yourself.
Why didn't somebody, anybody, tell a beautiful pregnant girl that there was nothing so big in life that it couldn't be made right. Maybe that incredible young woman would still be alive. Maybe her now one-year-old child would be learning to walk or say “Mommy” right now. Maybe.
Maybe.
The cure is so simple.
Be real...never said it is magical though!!
Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people’s lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Once you cure yourself of the disease, others will come to you, asking if they can just “talk”. People are desperate to talk. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will tell you of some of the greatest struggles going on. Some of the most “perfect” people around you will break down in tears as they tell you how difficult life is for them. Turns out some of the most “perfect” people around us are human beings after all, and are dying to talk to another human being about it.
You’ll love them for it. And you’ll love yourself even more.
Let’s not forget this quote: “I went out to find a friend and could not find one there. I went out to be a friend, and friends were everywhere.” Somebody who is being a friend doesn’t spread “Perfection”. Somebody who is being a friend spreads “Real”. Then, and only then, can we all grow together.
I once told my mother she loved me not and that I am not her son.I made her cry. Every thought of that, tears my heart apart.
I do not like loosing, well, and would get pissed at it, whenever it does happen..yet I seek to marry reality, and realize, that you can never win them all. (working on it)
I once wished death upon myself, and started to have suicidal thoughts.
The list would go on and on...but good thing is, I am curing myself from this disease!!
What about you...
God never expects perfection from us, that is why he leaves room for repentance!!
Will you help me spread “Real”?
Original Link Single Dad- Disease Called Perfection!!
wow!!
ReplyDeletewill help you spread real bro!
ReplyDelete#team real